I feel another fanfic coming on….

Why are my asks suddenly spammed with do you know the lads? (TW)

Know? Never met them ever! What is going on!! Why do people suddenly think that I know them.

Oh how I dream of that day every day….

Don’t know the lads, never met the lads, don’t think i’ll ever meet the lads….leave it at that yea…

And quit spamming you sponges!! (Unless a UFO has landed and is attacking all the penguins and melting their brain…)

There’s a link on my profile to where I keep them and they’re also in my twitter favs, hope that helps

Right now im not even sure if I should ever write a fanfic again, had so many complaints, got blocked by people…..

And to be honest im not sure if I should bother any more….

Im sorry that my fanfics contain strong themes, I did warn you lot about them but its my style of writing……dunno what I should do. Change the style or continue writing the same…..

I dont want to write something that hurts or offends someone. Scared to write now.

Well thats that leave me an ask telling me what I should do or reblog this or tweet me, just tell me what I should do….

Chapter 10

This part contains strong themes of suicide. Do not read if you’ve been affected by a similar issue.

Don’t you just hate it when everything you loved gets taken away from you. Don’t you just feel like the world is going against you just waiting for you to give up, laughing at your failures. Yea it hurts I know. You feel vunerable and exposed, crushed and torn. Having everything you worked so hard for dissolve right in front of your eyes. Its an uncomfortable feeling, the pain tears your heart apart in the most brutal way. But in the end its up to you. Give up or pick yourself up and face the world head on.

Siva’s pov:
We were transferred onto another ship then taken back to Blackpool. Our fresh start ruined! Nathan was dead. The band was over. Me and the lads watched as Jay was slowly wheeled off the ship and into a waiting ambulance. Not long after Nathan’s fragile body was slowly carried off the ship then wrapped in a white sheet. Poor lad. Its not fair! ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR!! This was supposed to be a safety barrier so everyone was safe but guess what, one is dead and another is injured. And as for the rest of us. I don’t think we can ever recover from what we witnessed. “Excuse me guys” I said wheeling myself off near the edge of the cliff looking down at the crashing rocks. “Seeve!” I heard Max call from behind me. I turned round the quickly looked back. I had to do this. The pain was too much. “Goodbye Max” I said wheeling myself off the edge.

Max’s pov:
I watched in horror as Seeve dropped off the edge. “SIVAAA!” I screamed running over to look down. All I saw was a battered body floating lifeless in the sea. I heard footsteps running towards me but I ignored it. “MAX WHAT’S GOING ON, WHERE’S SIVA!!” Tom screamed. I froze for a moment pointing to the body floating in the ocean. “Please tell me thats not Seeve!” Tom said welling up. I looked at Tom slumping down on the grass. “I tried to stop him but….” my voice broke as I suddenly got up. “Im going after him” I said positioning myself on the edge. “DONT YOU DARE THINK ABOUT IT, YOU DO THAT AND IM JUMPING IN FRONT OF A TRAIN AND THATS A PROMISE!!” he screamed. I ignored him and dived into the harsh rocks, the air hitting my face at a fast speed then black.

Tom’s pov:
“NOOOOOOOO MAX!!” I screamed now seeing two lifeless bodies floating on the seabed. “What’s with all the screaming!” Jayne snapped running towards me. I looked at her pointing to the sea. “Max, Siva and Nathan are dead!” I cried running off. That was it. I never break my promises. I didnt even wanna look back at her reaction and kept on running. Everything I had now is gone! There was no point of life any more. The train barriers came to sight and I walked onto the track just waiting for the next passing service to come and take my life. I waited for a good ten minutes and nothing came. Pissed I ran out into the road only to hear a loud screeching noise followed by a loud bang. My body was violently flung across the road but I was still breathing. In pain but alive. I slowly lifted my head and saw what hit me. An ambulance was flipped on its side with paramedics crawling out. But what came next shocked me. They pulled out two bodies of which I recognized immediately. Jay and his wife. I felt my heart sink at the sight of them. They were both unconsciousness and paramedics were doing everything to save them. A good old five minutes had passed and they were unable to bring them back. Shit what have I done. In trying to kill myself I killed my best friend and his gorgeous wife! I was about to get up when I felt a pair of hands push me back down. “Lie still sir, just stay calm” a voice said followed by someone trying to put a needle through me. “GET OFF ME!!” I screamed using all my energy getting up and running towards Jay’s body. Just as I was about to kneel down I heard a horn. A train horn. Now was my chance. “I’m so sorry Jay!” I said before running over to the barriers not caring about the pain and jumping over it. I could hear people screaming but I ignored it. The train edged closer and closer but trying to break at the same time. “Come on!” I mumbled as I saw the thing come at me at high speed. “Yea thats it” I mumbled again before it finally struck me. I felt myself being swept further and further away from the light and plunged straight into darkness.

Everything was looking up but it came crashing down. The pain finally settled in and the world had won.

The End

No one was harmed during the making of this fanfic, the lads have celebrated a successful filming and are now at the pub getting pissed. Thank you for reading. If you’ve been affected by the themes of this fanfic feel free to leave an ask or tweet me (@josiej8).